Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Not-So-Happy Happy Endings, part 2

Cracked.com has an article from a little while back about how unhappy the happy endings of several major blockbuster movies look when you analyze them closely enough.

Though it’s generally a silly article with several entries based on logical fallacy, I think they make several valid arguments. While they make a fair point in the Back to the Future segment, let’s face it: it’s a silly popcorn movie with possibly the softest-science version of time travel in Hollywood history, and doesn’t need to be looked at that analytically (IMHO). When I watch Back to the Future, I’m not in the mood for even this much thinking; I’m in the mood for “Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads!” But their segment on The Matrix Revolutions, on the other hand... yeah, that’s really bugged me for a while now.

And what’s more, in light of my recent post about some happy endings from our friend William Shakespeare that are not so happy, I’ve gotten to thinking about other so-called “happy endings” that I’ve seen that have just left me kinda disturbed or depressed. This time though, it’s less what happens at the climax of the film that is distressing and more the logical conclusions as to what should happen afterwards.

Cracked made a very good point about the ending of The Matrix Revolutions: yeah, it’s all good and well that there is peace and humanity is free from the Matrix, except now they have nowhere to go since Zion was all but destroyed. Whatever The Matrix Online may have had to say about the new world created by the trilogy’s endgame, we’re not looking at a happy scenario for anybody. The humans have lost their home and most means of survival, even without accommodating all the extra people who will choose to leave the Matrix. Unless those people volunteer to remain in the Matrix, of course, and honestly, given that scenario, who wouldn’t want to remain in the peaceful, stable fa├žade of the Matrix?

You know, come to think of it, what were the Zionists thinking anyway? “Yes, be free fellow humans, free from your relatively peaceful, stable life in the Matrix, able to live in the hellhole that we as humanity reduced the real world to during our first war with the machines.” Yeah, okay, so it’s a lie——big deal, as long as we don’t know it’s a lie, who gets hurt? So the machines are using us as a source of energy... hey, wait a second! That doesn’t even make any sense! It’s impossible for the human body to generate more energy than it takes to keep that human body alive in the first place! Human propaganda, used to propagate a pointless war! Hell, I’m with the alternate character interpretation crowd now. I root for the machines. Why should we a root for a bunch of crazies, and not even very charismatic or interesting crazies, who go around shooting tons of innocent people just because they have the capability of being possessed by an agent, lying to themselves and each other that its too free humanity when really humanity is better off enslaved! At least it means we’re alive and happy. Hell, for all we know humanity begged the machines to do this to them as part of their surrender at the end of the war, after we realized that we accidentally fucked up our biosphere for good! Maybe they were like, “pretty please Master Machines, don’t destroy us all, keep us safe“ and the machines we all like, “well we can’t use them as an energy source because that’s ridiculous and impossible, but we can use them as a neural network, like in that human television program nobody remembers called Dollhouse, and we’ll use that computer network to keep them all mentally imprisoned where they can stay of our way but still be happy in a construct of their glory days as a species back in the Nineties”. It’s a win/win scenario! It makes perfect sense! Dammit Wachowskis, I might not have even thought anything of it if you didn’t make these damn sequels with their damn crazy ending!


Oh god, I’ve gone on a rant. This is weird. Honestly, I swear I didn’t actually mean to write all that when I started typing this post, just... I started off talking about Cracked.com and then there was Marty McFly and it was all happy, and ugh my head. Back to the Future, return me to the warm silliness of your popcorn-movie iconography. Or something.

Anyway, so yeah, the ending to The Matrix series sucked. I’ll have more intelligent things to say later.

1 comment:

  1. Rants against the "Matrix" sequels are always welcome.